Here is an article with two opposing ideas about how children become narcissists.
In your experience if you have been in a relationship with a narcissist, what did he/she tell you about his/her childhood that you believe contributed to narcissism? What elements of taking care of parents (as a child), or neglect by parents, or abuse by parents, or competition with parents or siblings, need for attention, need for applause did you hear stories about? Was there a traumatic memory or inciting incident that you heard a story about. Was there a triumphant moment when the narcissist got attention as a child? Please describe the moment as told by the narcissist and the level of attention. How often did the narcissist repeat that story? In what fashion did he/she tell the story… did he/she add dramatic pause and wait for your response when telling the story? Did stories change based upon how you responded? If you have children with the narcissist, how is it that the narcissist seeks attention from the children? Please describe. If you have a personal theory or idea about anything that could possibly help a narcissist to break the spell of their delustional construct more gently so that they could trust someone to access healing, please describe what you believe might help or work. Apparently they are hard to reach in therapy… so to speak. Of course some say impossible, but I would like your thoughts. Thanks.